novelapdf Chapter 792: I Won’t Allow Myself To Be Self-Cucked
Chapter 792: I Won’t Allow Myself To Be Self-Cucked
Joy blinked at the sudden shift in conversation, but she nodded absentmindedly.
"Yes, he is."
The god-Cassius’s eyes lit up with excitement.
"Is there a woman with beautiful golden hair!? Someone who’s eternally loyal to him, willing to follow him through hell itself?!"
Joy thought immediately of Isabelle, Cassius’s fiercely loyal maid who would do anything for him.
She nodded. "Yes, there is."
Cassius’s excitement grew.
"And what about a woman who always has this beautiful, cold look on her face!? Someone meticulous in everything she does, who always wants to keep me in the best condition wherever I go?!"
Joy thought of Portia, Cassius’s diligent maid who fussed over his appearance and ensured he was always presentable.
She nodded again. "Yes, there’s someone like that too."
Cassius’s eyes sparkled.
"And what about a woman who seems weak but can read the thoughts of others so easily?!"
"Or someone who’s just so kind and caring that she heals wherever she goes!?"
He was practically bouncing now.
"What about a woman who rules over all the monster races, with a beautiful snake tail behind her!?"
"Or a warrior who’s just too goofy for her own good?"
"Another one who keeps making clumsy mistakes all the time? And then another who just can’t be honest with herself?"
"Or one who..."
Joy nodded along as he listed off each description, thinking of Diana, Vivi, Nala and Aisha, Julie, Skadi, Carmela, Aqua—all the women who had found their way into Cassius’s life.
Each description matched one of them perfectly.
But then Cassius mentioned someone she didn’t recognize.
"What about a woman who, even though she seemed to be the strongest of them all, had a particularly weak heart?"
He asked, his voice softening.
"And mother who’d be willing to sacrifice her life anytime just for her son, even though he isn’t her own blood."
Joy shook her head. "I don’t know anyone like that."
Cassius frowned thoughtfully.
"I suppose he hasn’t met them yet."
He said it with such certainty, as if he already knew that Cassius would meet more people in the future.
But then his expression changed again, becoming almost desperate as he leaned closer to Joy.
"What about the woman who’s basically his right hand?" He asked enthusiastically. "The one who follows her master wherever he goes and never leaves his side, no matter what."
"There’s no way she wouldn’t have appeared already, right?!"
Joy was utterly lost. "I’m sorry." She said. "I don’t know who you’re talking about."
But Cassius insisted, gesturing excitedly.
"She has an extremely cute face! Quite short as well! And—" He paused, a lecherous grin spreading across his face. "—she has massive tits! Even bigger than yours."
He added, pointing at Joy’s chest to her utter fluster.
"She tries to hide them, but they just keep popping out, you know? With how fat her knockers are."
Joy’s face burned with embarrassment.
"I don’t know about any person like that." She said firmly, crossing her arms over her chest.
The god-Cassius frowned. "That’s strange. There’s no way she wouldn’t have appeared. She was with me from the very beginning."
He tapped his chin thoughtfully. Then his expression shifted to one of dawning comprehension.
"Ah, I see." He said, nodding to himself. "I understand now."
Joy raised an eyebrow. "Understand what?"
He smiled mysteriously. "I suppose that she would actually be a he, and she hasn’t truly revealed herself to Cassius yet."
Joy opened her mouth to ask more questions, but the god-Cassius waved her off.
"Don’t worry about it. It’ll make sense eventually."
He seemed satisfied, his smile stretching from ear to ear.
There was a genuine joy in his expression now, something that came from the very depths of his being.
"It seems like I truly have achieved my dream." He said, his voice filled with genuine happiness. "Or rather, Faeya made sure I lived the life I’ve always wanted to live."
He let out a soft sigh.
"I should be thankful for her. She must have been so lonely for all those years."
His expression grew wistful. "I hope she can also join in on my happiness someday. Eventually."
Joy finally couldn’t contain herself anymore. The questions had been building up inside her, a pressure that was about to explode.
"I...I don’t understand." She said helplessly. "Can you tell me more about what you’re talking about?"
"Who this Ysoria is, and why you said I look like her? And who you actually are? And why you’re talking to Cassius as if he’s some part of yourself but also isn’t at the same time?"
She was nearly breathless, the words tumbling out in a rush.
"I have so many doubts. Please, I need answers!"
The god-Cassius looked at her for a long moment. His expression was unreadable as he studied her desperate face.
Then he smiled—a gentle, almost sad smile.
"Sorry, Joy."
He reached out and patted her head, the gesture so familiar, so achingly Cassius, that she felt tears prick at her eyes.
"Those are things that can’t be revealed right now. The fact that I’m saying all of this to you and the reality around us hasn’t already fractured is already a miracle."
His voice was soft, apologetic. "So unfortunately, I can’t tell you anything more."
Joy’s expression fell. She felt like she’d been reading a book, only to have the last Chapters ripped out.
She had so many pieces but couldn’t see the full picture. It was maddening.
Cassius seemed to sense her distress.
"Don’t worry about it." He said gently. "Sometimes...it’s better not to know certain things."
A distant, dark look flickered in his crimson eyes, a shadow of profound sadness that made Joy’s heart clench.
"It’ll only gloom your heart." He continued softly. "And fill it with darkness when you think about it."
"The weight of certain knowledge...it can crush a person."
Joy wondered what he was thinking about. Some event from the distant past?
Or something that would happen in the future—something he wasn’t looking forward to?
But before she could dwell on it, his expression brightened. He smiled at her, warm and reassuring.
"But it’s all right. You’re living the life you’ve always wanted to live right now. And you should be happy about that."
Joy blinked, confused.
What did he mean, the life she’d always wanted to live? She hadn’t chosen her path.
She’d been forced into it by circumstance and revenge.
But there was something in his tone that suggested he knew more than he was letting on.
Before she could ask, Cassius looked away, his gaze focusing on something in the distance.
He seemed to be seeing something she couldn’t perceive.
"Anyway." He said, turning back to her. "You can’t stay here any longer. Your soul is fracturing. If you stay too long, you won’t be able to return. You have to go back now."
Reluctance flooded Joy’s heart. Despite all her confusion and the questions she still had, she didn’t want to leave.
There was something about this place, about this version of Cassius, that drew her in.
But she nodded, accepting the inevitable. She was grateful for everything she’d learned, even if it had only raised more questions.
Cassius gave her one final, searching gaze. "Just do me a favor, can you?"
Joy tilted her head, curious.
"Tell the Cassius on the other side something for me." His voice grew soft, almost tender. "Tell him that Faeya is extremely shy. She’ll always run away from him, no matter what, because of how embarrassed she’ll feel."
"And because of the guilt too."
Joy nodded, committing the words to memory.
"But tell him to never let her go." Cassius continued, his voice fierce with emotion. "No matter how much she runs, chase after her. Grab her. Hold her tight!"
"No matter how much she struggles, tell him to never let go. Hold her until she finally breaks down—until she starts crying or gets so flustered she can’t speak!"
He looked at Joy with an expression of profound longing.
"Can you do that for me, Yso—I mean Joy? Can you please deliver that message?"
Joy nodded firmly. "I’ll make sure he gets it."
Cassius’s face lit up with gratitude.
"Thank you." He said, his voice thick with emotion. "Thank you for that."
He then grinned cheekily, a flash of that familiar mischievousness breaking through as he said,
"I would want to kiss you right now for the favor, since Ysoria herself adores my affection."
Joy’s eyes widened in surprise, her cheeks flushing.
But Cassius laughed and shook his head.
"But I don’t think I will. Even though we’re technically the same, you still belong to the Cassius on that side."
He smirked. "I won’t let him get cucked, since that would be same as cucking myself."
He then slowly pulled back, his smile gentle.
"Farewell, Joy. I’ll see you soon—in the distant, very distant future."
He waved his hand, almost as if saying hello rather than goodbye.
Joy opened her mouth to respond, to say something...anything.
But before she could, the reality around her began to warp. The stars grew brighter, blindingly so, until everything was consumed by white light.
And then darkness.
---
When Joy opened her eyes, she found herself back on the bench in the zoo.
Sir Fluffington the Second was still asleep on her lap, and the afternoon sun was warm on her skin.
And Cassius was looking at her, his expression a mixture of curiosity and worry.
"Joy?" He said softly, peering into her face. "Are you all right? What happened? You were gone for quite some time."
Joy blinked, still trying to orient herself. She looked down at her hands, then at the scarf around her neck, then at Sir Fluffington the Second.
"I...I saw things." She said slowly. "A lot of things."
Cassius leaned closer, his concern evident.
"What kind of things? Was it bad? Did something hurt you?"
Joy’s heart was racing. She had so much to say—so many questions that had been building up inside her ever since she’d laid eyes on that god-like version of Cassius in the cosmos.
She wanted to tell him everything, from the very beginning to the very end, to pour out every detail of what she’d witnessed.
She believed that Cassius—her Cassius would have the answers.
He had to. After all, this was his soul, his past, his truth. If anyone could explain the inexplicable, it would be him.
She opened her mouth to speak, the words already forming on her lips.
But then she paused.
A thought struck her and she realised that there was something she needed to know first.
Something that had been nagging at her ever since the god-Cassius had spoken that name.
She looked at Cassius, her gaze intense and searching.
"Cassius..." She said slowly, her voice cautious.
The way she spoke made him tense up immediately.
He turned to look at her with equal intensity, his crimson eyes searching her face for answers.
Joy took a deep breath, steeling herself. Then, slowly, cautiously, she asked the question that had been burning in her heart.
"Do you..."
"Do you possibly know anyone by the name of Ysoria?"